This morning I lost a dear friend, my pet cat Phantom. It is the third pet I have lost since December and also comes after the recent loss of my grandmother. I have been having a rough time these past months and it only seems to be getting rougher. Phantom was an awesome cat, the kind that you don't come across too often. I have and have had many cats and I can tell you each and every one has their own little personalities. Phantom was a friendly cat that enjoyed playing "hockey' with tinfoil balls and she had this squeak about her meow which gained her the nickname "squeaker".

Until recently she was a relatively healthy cat full of life and she was energetic. In February I noticed she had breathing problems and I had brought her to the emergency vet clinic where it came to be that I did not have enough money to cover the costs of running tests to find out what was wrong so I brought her home. It was then that my father called Phantom's vet and made it a point to show that vets are supposed to be in it for the love of animals and not money and convinced the vet to see my cat at a cost to be paid later. Because most know vets want the money the same day. So we ended up bringing her to my vet that day and they ran tests for feline leukemia, which I feared she may have, and the tests came back negative. Chest x-rays were done and no fluid was found in her lungs. Fluid typically accumulates when an animal has congestive heart failure but the vet said her heart sounded normal and that they were thinking she may have feline asthma and so she was given a steroid injection and a prescription for bronchial dilators. I believed everything was going to be ok, after all she was still eating and drinking and acting normal, but sadly, when I came home to get ready for work, I found her on the floor.

It tears me up inside because I wasn't here when she died, or maybe it happened just as I came home because she was still warm. It tears me up because I feel guilty for not giving her the pills the last few days, even though her breathing hadn't gotten worse. Had i given her the pill, maybe she'd still be here. But i don't know, I think maybe she had a heart attack because maybe she did have heart failure, but it didn't show up in the exam? I didn't have a lot of money to pay for all the tests that she might have needed, just the tests that she had done.

All I know is that I lost a great friend who would always come lay with me on the couch or be there to brighten my day. She truly was a unique cat and I will always be thankful for the time she was here. Goodbye Phantom, you will be missed always.

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